Saturday, January 31, 2009

2nd last day.

'Lo all.

It's been too hot.

Lessee. Helped out Aiden on Thursday, delivering drugs to old people in the heat. Damn drinks boiled over in the backpacks, Danielle saved us when I chanced across her, and she gave us two litres of refridgerated water.

Then posted the review, eerily positive responses.

Next day, tried to do as little as possible. I was going to help Aiden out again (turns out I have a new job now, delivering drugs Thursdays after school), but I was babysitting. That night, went down to the cinema, met Ryan. Denny didn't show up, the movie was two hours later, we saw a pair of plastics at Maccas, Ryan's computers are trippy, then when we finally walked in the door to buy tickets, the power went out. Hurm. Isobelle and her folks were also there, she berated Ryan for not asking her to the movies. After being hot and bored for half an hour, everyone left, and Ryan and I walked home. No streetlights, and the only place that had power was one of the pubs. Cops were directing traffic around, and everyone seemed to have their high beams on.

Actually, that was a really great day. We even lost the cricket, among other things. *el sarcasmo*

Today, I needed to go down the street, but I didn't. Dug up some Watchmen stuff, Emma will be ever so pleased about some of it. They're merchandising this film like it's for kids, I mean, I don't know if I'll be able to see it yet, due to the rating. Some of it is ridiculous though, like a Rorshach beanie. They didn't even make an effort for that.

Haven't done much else, really. I watched the second ep of Skins season three, still don't like it much, might be because they focussed on the dickhead and the autistic kid going to a brothel. It's still early days. I miss the old characters.

Tomorrow, making sure I've got everything. Uniform still fits, though I think I'll need new shorts soon. Hurm. Not looking forward to it.



Thursday, January 29, 2009


‘Lo everyone.

This is going to be long. You have been warned.

Let me begin by saying that this is my opinion. It’s (mildly) heretical, but grow up. I’m not aiming to rain on your specific parade (well, more take a dump on it, but that’s another matter), I’m stating my opinion on a popculture phenomenon. Comment on it, but don’t say ZOMG WTF UR JUST JEALOUS TWIFAG 4 LYF LOL because it’ll just get deleted. Nobody cares. I’d also like to point out that if you are either reading the books, or are planning to, do not read any further. Also, this is a bitter teenage GUY reading a bubbly GIRL book, so don’t expect a bubbly girl’s thoughts on it.

Right. Twilight. Most people have heard of it. Wish fulfilment fantasy for teenage girls. My main problems with it are a) the characters, b) the vampires, and c) the message. Firstly, let’s take a biased look at the plot.


Simple, isn’t it? I’ve left out the slow bits, and the needlessly complicated bits. It’s a surprisingly clever book. It’s not written very densely, which would allow for a younger audience to understand it (and tell their friends about it). It also tries very hard to make itself seem realistic. The main protagonist is almost relatable, however, I’m not a teenage girl. However, who’s heard of a 21st century teenager without a mobile phone (apart from Sarah Christie, but she lives in Dargo, she has a good excuse [sorry Sarah]), or one who only uses their computer to email their mother and google vampires, instead of myspace and IMing?

The main protagonist is very, very bland. She’s a Mary-Sue. Mary-Sues aren’t all bad, sometimes they are necessary, plus people like the familiarity. It also makes it so that the average bored teenager can feel that she can be this girl. However, the moment it goes into any depth of character (for example, this girl enjoys reading (!) Jane Austen (!!!), and has never had a boyfriend, and has a divorced police chief for her father), it all seems gimmicky, and one could skip on those bits to feel like said character. She also sees herself as unattractive, which is probably the most important trait. Every teenager whinges about their self esteem (until they become enlightened and realise it doesn’t really matter), and then suddenly, this girl is at a new school (obviously a scary experience), and instead of being rejected, everyone likes her. From the dark haired geek with skin problems (wow, there’s even an alex analogue!), to the hawt piece of manmeat with gelled hair, she’s suddenly one of the more popular girls in school.

Before I go on any further about Bella, let me just mention these things about the other characters at her school. They’re stereotypes. “OMG SCHOOL BALL WANNA DANCE LOL” from every single character to each other. The author has managed to put in a bit of gossipy sort of stuff, but it seems tacked on, especially once you move to the actual plot. There’s a geeky kid, the cool kid, the best friend, the shy girl, the mean girl, the kid who assumes he’s going to the prom with Bella… all of them can be wrangled into one’s own friends. Maybe it makes the kiddies feel all cool and deep, doing quizzes to find out which character they are, I dunno. I just found it annoying, why bother with these kids at all?

Anyway. The main protagonist finds some allies, finds a love interest, courts, is wooed, is scared by a bit of exposition (from a Native American kid, whose tribe is full of stories about vampires, of course), then resolves to find out more. Both protagonists are stalkers, one more obviously than the other. Edward the “gorgeous vampire” (I’m getting to that bit), enjoys watching Bella sleep when she doesn’t know he’s there. That scores as being creepy even in my book. Bella tries to find out as much as she can about him, through making wild accusations and playing the Indian kid for his stories. She then finds out she is special (she smells good to vampires, which isn’t really something special. I mean, would it be special if I smelt good to lions or something? No, not really) and Edward can’t read her mind, which makes her a very tame Mary-Sue (they tend to get superpowers or become Jesus or rich or something). The vampires look after her, and one falls in love with her. They’re all trying to not eat her (well, drink her blood or whatever these lame “vegetarian” ones do, eat her is easier to write), but they have to struggle not to. More on this later.

Edward. He’s the perfect man. Not only is he a pure Adonis made of pale, unsleeping and hungry meat, he’s also caring and has feelings and rar rar rar crap. Bugger that. That’s called unrealistic expectations. There’s stories of blokes getting dumped by their twifag girlfriends because “they weren’t enough like Edward”. Not saying I’m jealous, but hell, us guys got the short end of the stick (maybe. Where am I going to find a girl who actually likes reading and can think?). The thing about Edward is he’s too good. His only flaw is that he’s a lame breed of vampire. What’s flawed about that? He has super strength, he can run really fast, he has telepathic crap, he sparkles in the sunlight, he’s immortal, and every now and then he has to drain a sheep of it’s fluids. Doesn’t sound so bad, does it. Of course it is! It’s a great tragedy! How will Bella and Edward be together forever if he’s immortal? Who cares, I’ve only read the first book. He’s also a stalker, as I’ve gone over above, and enjoys reading people’s minds to aid in said stalking. Must be the sexual repression. 90 YEARS OF IT. Edward claims to be 90 years old. He looks like he’s 17. Does this make him a paedophile? I dunno. ‘Nother tick for creepiness for him, 3 more and he gets a gold star.

The bad guy is tame. “HURR DURR I LIKE HUNTING AND YOU SMELL NICE SO I’M GOING TO HUNT YOU. I’M ALSO GOING TO TRICK YOU INTO GOING TO YOUR OLD HOUSE SO I CAN EAT YOU AWAY FROM THE TELEPATHIC GOOD GUYS DERP DERP”. I kid you not. He loses the fight, since he’s the bad guy, and his mates run out on him. He sends his girlfriend to distract the big group of goody two shoes. It’s kinda crappy that this ends up being the main plot (the “love story” is obviously the one for the whole series, so shut up). I mean, if I was an ubermensch hunter, I wouldn’t draw it out theatrically, I’d sneak into her house, take down the paedophile guardian with my bloodthirsty ninja skills, then just take her there and then.

Now, the vampires. I was brought up knowing that vampires have fangs, drink blood from the neck, and burn in the sun. That was the main bit. Sometimes they had superpowers, sometimes they turned into bats. It’s the general archetype vampires have. I think that the author decided that all this was much too unromantic and much too mature and violent, so she made vampires lame, and dare I say it, boring. They don’t have fangs, they all have perfect teeth. They don’t drink blood from the neck, they kill their victims and poison them (with their perfect teeth). They don’t burn in the sun, they instead “sparkle” like “diamonds” when the sun hits them (which is why the story takes place in Foggytown, WA. No sunshine there). They have the superpowers, etc etc, but that doesn’t make them interesting.

I point you towards the Darren Shan books. I read them a while ago, plot was a bit more straightforward. I’ll skip that. The vampires in that, though, had proper traits. They had sharper teeth, razor sharp fingernails, superstrength, speed, telepathy, PLUS they could burn in the sun, and they couldn’t be seen in mirrors or photos. They attacked humans, but since you were following the good guys, they just knocked them out, sipped, and bottled some of the blood (clever, really. Why don’t the twifag vampires do that?). It was an entertaining, contemporary view of vampires, whereas Twilight is a boring, contemporary view of vampires.

The best part about the twifag vampires though, is that the blood drinking is really a metaphor for sex. The message that the (Mormon housewife) author is sending is that you can have boyfriends and have fun, but resist the urge to have sex drink blood. Not that it’s a bad message, I’m sure. Diseases and artards getting themselves knocked up and leaving school is rife, we’re told. So here comes a cautionary tale about falling in love with a bloke who is struggling to not have sex drink blood when he meets a pretty girl. Makes the little teenagers feel good about themselves, that there might be someone out there who doesn’t want to have sex drink their blood and just wants to watch them sleep, and save them from possibly getting raped by stalking them. Good luck, ladies.

One more note, following from the above. In the last book, Bella and Edward do get it on. Bella doesn’t enjoy it, is bruised, etc, etc, and is instantly pregnant, and then the baby claws itself out of her lungs or something. Sending the right message here, aren’t we Mrs Meyer?

What else have we got. The language isn’t really teenager, so it fails the realism there. The love story bit is clunky. “OMG you saved me from rape!” “OMG you smell nice!” “OMG let’s go hiking together!” “OMG you so hawt!” “OMG meet my family!” “OMG you saved me from being eaten!” “OMG I love you and your mum approves!” etc, etc. The only big twist is revealed on the blurb. School life is described pretty meh, but then, that’s not the focus here, is it? The vampire characters are all godlike and are described so. And speaking of description, every single paragraph in the first half of the book basically ends with something like, “He blinked his perfect eyes” or “His shirt revealed his perfectly chiselled chest” or “His nasal hair fluttered like dandelions in the wind”. It’s annoying. He’s the perfect man, we get it. Finally, the fact that the main protagonist, whose father is the chief of police, gets her mother kidnapped, and fails to tell her dad (who’d be able to contact the Phoenix police, get her picked up, etc), is annoying. Plus the coldness Bella shows when she has to leave (“NO WONDER MY MOTHER LEFT RAR RAR RAR”) irked me, because there wasn’t really a point to it. She could have just said, “LOL I LEFT SOMETHING AT PHOENIX, BRB”. Same effect, less consequences. Also, I’d like to point out that by insinuating that smelling good means that vampires are going to eat you, this may encourage people to stop showering.

For good things, I guess I could say that it might encourage more people to read. It’s mildly compelling, though maybe that was because I needed it finished before we left the next day. It’s something to gossip over with friends, positively or negatively (I’m more of the latter). Probably a few other things, but none come to mind.

I could go on. Do not tempt me. But I’ve gone past 1900 words + a comic. So I’ll say no more (on the blog). If you sat through all that, you get a gold star for coolness, instead of creepiness. Edward can go sit in the corner and stare at girls who smell nice.

So, in conclusion, Bella’s dull and boring, Edward’s a paedophile stalker, and the entire thing is about chastity. I will admit that it’s written cleverly, not well, but enough to show who they’re aiming it at to make more money.

I am mildly interested in seeing the film due to the (apparently laughable) acting and effects, and so I can have my revenge when Watchmen comes out in March. Plus, I’d like to say right now that Paramour is crappy emo stuff that ordinarily you’d never listen to if it wasn’t on the soundtrack. For those not in the know, it sounds like a mildly heavier Garbage with less electro and more “AND THEN I CUT MYSELF” etc (I listened to the preview on iTunes, so nyeh).

Have a nice day.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Back with a vengeance.

'Lo all.

Back from Barfold this afternoon. Sorry for all the people who wanted to catch up.

Monday. I played at the port, pretty boring, too many speeches and songs played over and over again. How many times a year do you hear the Road to Gundagai?

We drove to Barfold, slow trip, only one mild incident when a guy came up behind me and we didn't see each other. The Hottest 100 blared, Half Full Glass of Wine got 75, and a couple of other songs I know and like managed meh spots. Missed the top ten, then the coverage went.

Wasn't too bad up there, caught up with everyone, got beaded up, and watched Zoolander with Marie.

Zoolander - ****
Ben Stiller comedy, so familiar faces in it. Done in the style of Tropic Thunder, it's big budget, lots of cameos, and it's very funny. The plot is a bit out there and I barely recognised Will Ferrel.

Marie said she had a copy of Twilight, and agreed to lend it to me. I burned through the first half that night, then finished it off by about lunchtime the next morning. Fraser and Mitchell were occupied with their jumping, so we went for a drive to Mt Alexander (LOL ISNT DAT FUNNAI!), then on the new freeway. The view was pretty cool, and the Zeppelin cds worked. Back home, they looked at home movies where Mitchell chucked my stuff around then nearly drowned Fraser in the bath. Funny, I guess. That night, nearly fell asleep in front of the tennis while Beardman and Marie did the target word things in the newspaper.

Today, got a family photo or three and then drove home. Very quiet trip, though once we got across the bridge in Melbourne we saw a sign saying there'd be delays in the tunnel today. "Ok," says Beardman. "Let's just go around it." So, we wasted an extra half an hour going through St Kilda to hit the Monash, which was annoying as ever.

Since I've been home, I've caught up on the news and begun my review of Twilight. I believe I'll post it tomorrow, though I dunno. I warn you, it's big. Very big.

Tomorrow, it's too hot, but Aiden says there's a job opportunity if I meet him at the chemist's in the afternoon. I guess as long as I've got a drink I'll be right.



Sunday, January 25, 2009

Interstellar Overdrive.

'Lo readers.

Been a while, yet again.What have we got this time.

28 Weeks Later - ***
Well, it tried. It wasn't particularly scary, there were cliche heroic Americans (unlike the British soldiers in the last one), and there were plotholes. But, there was also Rose Byrne, and a sequence where a helicopter takes out a bunch of zombie-things. WITH IT'S ROTORS! Not enough to save it though.

The Ring - **1/2
Didn't really like it the first time, and now that I've read the original (trilogy, which goes into a fair bit of trippy detail), and seen the Japanese version, I can safely say this version is pretty crap. The main protagonists were annoying, the kid was infuriating (one factor may be the terrible acting, but that's not the kid's fault), and the "LOL WUT" sort of plot. I mean, the original story was good, if a bit weird, but it made more sense than this. Ah well.

The Big Lebowski - ***1/2
It's a Coen brothers comedy. It's entertaining, not L.O.L. funny (lawl I kid, I kid), and some of it doesn't add up by the end. Still, The Dude abides.

What else have we got. Broke into school the other day, very quiet and eerie, nothing much has changed. The year 12s have fancy new tables next to their lockers, that's all I saw. Managed to get all my new folders away, so far they aren't that heavy, so I guess I'll be able to take them all at once, if necessary. Textbooks will be another thing though.

Peter dropped round the other day, on a break from cooking for Joe's rowing camp. Doesn't sound much like fun, these rowing camps, specially in the weather we've been having lately.

Played at Bairnsdale last night, I saw Rob the new kid in the drums of the Bairnsdale band, we exchanged nods of mild recognition. Due to Fraser staying at Marie's, Caroline was the only trombonist, and I had to go in the front rank with Vicky. Never. Again. Ever. His arse is grass and Caroline and I have lawnmowers, you dig? We marched like a kilometre, following a bunch of firefighters wielding burning torches. I guess it'd look pretty cool, smelt too much like kerosene to us.

It appears that some of my friends are willing to go above and beyond the call of duty for revenge pictures, going to the lengths of proxy servers to get them. Weird. It was a rickroll anyway. I found a great site with fundie quotes too, some of them ridiculously misguided and contradictory. Helped out a dude on WS last night hunting for Pink Floyd, managed to find Interstellar Overdrive on the Limewires, which has been played incessantly. Also looking forward to the Hottest 100 tomorrow, even though most of the music will be terrible. Need to make sure these cds work too.

I've downloaded the first episode of Skins season 3. AM NOT AMUSED. I miss the old characters. The problem with this format they've got (two seasons per characters), means that people will get attached to the first lot, miss them when they bring in the second lot, then be unattached from every set of characters from then on. Bits of this episode are funny, I'll admit, but the whole surrealism thing is gone. No longer are realistic(ish) characters you could almost relate to going around in WTF Island, it's now gimmicky characters (TWINS! LESBIAN! TONY SUBSTITUTE! IDIOTwhoyoucantellisgoingtosmartenup! AUTISTIC KID! ANTISOCIAL GUYwithatattooonhisgenitals! COOL SKATER GUY!), who are now also as absurd as the environment. I dunno, maybe I'm too early with it. Maybe the other characters were just as gimmicky (band nerd? eating disorder? sidekick? stoner? muslim? gay guy? tony and his woman? maybe they are), but hell. I think it's because the first season, you just met the characters, they were already friends, and the exposition was timed so you were up to speed. This time they've got a bunch of random kids who aren't friends with each other yet (three best mates, pair of twins, antisocial girl, tonysubstitute and her sidekick), and it feels like Home and Away or that damn Degrassi show from the 80s. I liked Sid's locker though, that's a well used magazine.

That was a long paragraph. Sorry.

I've been staying up too late and waking up too late all holidays, so I've begun the purging, and have started waking up at like 9. It's a start, so don't berate me yet. I've saved it the last few days by either thinking, "alright, there was a thunderstorm last night and I only got three hours sleep, that deserves another hour", or watching a movie. I dunno. It might help me next week.

Now that that's out of the way. If you're reading this on Monday morning, Meg says "ZOMG LOUIIE!" so no waterfight. I can't go anyway, I'm going to Barfold, and Ocean Grove too, I think. I hope there's coverage up there, I'm keeping my phone on optimistically.

See what happens when I don't post enough. Sorry bout all that. Tomorrow, Australia Day thing at the Port, then driving to Barfold. I'll be out for two and a bit days, according to Beardman.



Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Melbourne and back.

'Lo all.

Man. Last time I stay up til 5am for a while.

I stayed up til then because of the Obamarama. Highlights included stuffing up the swearing in, and mentioning science would be returned to it's "rightful place" in schools in his speech. No assassination attempts, bit of a downer.

Today, Wise Beard Man wakes me up, says Fraser's going to Barfold today. Bah. Shower, breakfast, Guitar Hero (I can play Cult of Personality on hard!), then a quick stop over at Aldi for supplies. At the train station, saw Jess, but I don't think she saw me, then saw Lulu and Will McMahon. Not friendly, might have had something to do with Fraser looking like a tosser and the girls throwing themselves around.

Train trip up was quiet, I nearly finished False Gods, and the dude across from me was a WoWfag. I think. He was going on about guilds and warlocks and fire spells and 15% heal times. He asked me about my iPod, and I explained there's a better, cheaper model out. He looked about thirty.

Marie and the kiddies met us at Spencer St, she laughed at Fraser's can thingies on his neck, and we discussed books and the tennis. I then went to Krispy Kreme for a coffee, followed mysterious instructions to a music shop full of slightly off beat stuff (blues and jazz outnumbered rock about 4:1, which was pretty cool once you dig out stuff), and I saw The Song Remains the Same there for $40, (soundtrack alone was $35, special edition [with tshirt!] was $80), then went to Minotaur and picked up the Watchmen paperback and Mechanicum, since they didn't have Galaxy in Flames.

Went down the subway thing, had a look in a vinyl store (full of rap and R&B for djs and mixers), then fed and got on the train. No seats at all, cos of the bloody tennis. I saw Jasper, Derek, Malouf the Goof and his sister down the other end. I was standing up until Drouin, as more and more people got on >.<

Trip itself was meh, finished False Gods, looking forward to Galaxy in Flames and Mechanicum and Fulgrim and... all the rest of the series, basically.

Tomorrow, sleep in, watch a movie or two, that's about it.



Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Taller than Beardman.

'Lo readers.

Not all that much to report, I guess. Firstly, we're back online on the other side, so that's good, unless you google it.

Secondly, visited Video Ezy once again, before those little voucher things ran out.So far, 2 movie reviews for you.

Wall-E - ****1/2
It's Pixar. Even their bad movies are better than most. It looks polished, it sounds polished, it's a very good film. It's simple, though towards the end bits were a bit too preachy, like a bad Idiocracy. Some of the plot was very similar to it, so I dunno. It's also kind of depressing, I dunno. Minus half a star for being a kid film and having too many kiddie moments, and I'm a jaded teenager.

Alien - ***1/2
Well, it's only the second time I've seen it, picked up a fair bit more from it. I suppose that it's a good example, like Star Wars, of what can be achieved with very little in the way of computer generated effects. The Giger alien still looks too much like a man in a suit, and basically all the Giger stuff ends up looking like a Freudian nightmare. Storyline is solid because it's survival horror, you'd have to be either bold or stupid to muck with it. I liked the cat.

That's them out of the way. Moving from sci-fi to horror now, with 28 Weeks Later and The Ring (again), then the Big Lebowski. Been branching out the music a bit, managed to find a website that has complete Triple J playlists, so I found a few off that (and downloaded them for free of the Triple J website). Turns out that the music they use on Skins is completely different in Australia, so it's not on the soundtrack, so hunting it down is tricky. Doesn't look like I'm working in a while, due to the efficient tall dude hogging all the shifts. Sam and I believe this is a conspiracy; the new owners are saving money by making the most efficient dishie do all the shifts, and all the kids that have worked there for longer than a month are kept to the sidelines. Might be because it's the holidays though.

On all the other fronts, still slowly going through hard mode on Guitar Hero when I remember, haven't touched the greenskins as I need more glue, and I've finished the Great Gatsby, which is all very melodramatic and exaggerated, which is probably what the author was trying to do anyway. Still haven't read the introduction for it. I'm also hunting for a copy of Twilight, if you have one spare, feel free to text or something because the library is a failure. I'll have to check again, but it looks like all their damned copies are being held for teenage fangirls...

Coming up, lack of work, so lack of money. I need to buy a few more binder things, a few more exercise book things, and a new pencil case, plus a bottle of dye. That's it for the rest of the holidays, apart from a movie ticket and maybe Watchmen if Fraser's going to Barfold...

Tomorrow, watching as Obama gets sworn in. He'll either get assassinated then, or in a month or two, either way it'll be exciting. He keeps following Abraham Lincoln, is seen as another MLKjr, and is touted to be as good as John F. Kennedy. Now, can anyone see what these dudes have in common?



PPS. Xkcd the other day, with the Jurassic Park. Has anyone else read the books?

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Twice in two days.

'Lo all.

Eventful 48 hours, really.

Last night, after blogging, The Bearded One and Kevin got intoxicated and shouty, and eventually Kevin drove off. Ah well.

Next morning, after not enough sleep and no coffee, train trip. Aiden and I watched Jackass and an episode of Angry Beavers, but then got moved. Our new seats were across from a pair of stoners, one looking like a muscled ex-con, the other with long hair and 80s clothes. They were entertaining to listen to, if nothing else, as we fought off sleep. When we got off the train, an old lady kept talking to us about the tennis, then another old lady fell down the escalator. We went to Krispy Kreme for donuts and coffee.

We couldn't find the music shop that Emma told me about, but we got cheap stuff from Suga while we were there (and Aiden got someone a surprise), then found a M:tG shop down the stairs. It was worse than Minotaur (which we also had a look in, Watchmen's $25 for the paperback...hmm...), mainly because it was tiny, and they actually put air purifiers in.

We went to Galactic Circus, bought the cheapest game cards, and played lots of air hockey and pinball and racing games. We beat two 10 year olds at Mario Kart and found a free Need for Speed thing, and managed heaps of replays on the pinball which kept us going. J-Pop guitar hero is freaky.

We then made our way to the MCG and bought flags, and managed to get good seats. Same place we were on Boxing Day. The game itself was patchy until the end, then everyone (in the relatively small crowd) was pumped. We lost by three balls, because of bloody misfields. It was freezing cold, but the atmosphere was good. Bay 13 slowly got louder and louder, and beachballs made their way onto the pitch, and lots of people got arrested. We lol'd and drummed on chairs.

After finding out that the usual way to Richmond station was blocked for the tennis, we sprinted around to the station and managed to get on a train to Traralgon that was packed with Victory fans (most of them either under 15 or singing), a handful of Grammar year 12s on their way back from the cricket, and a pair of (gorram) scensters next to us who played wigger music and crappy metal on their phones and little speakers. Hell. Aiden and I discussed people's chances of getting school captain; I would vote for Cameron Vale. We got to Traralgon just before 1, and Aiden's mum dropped me off about 1:20.

I was looking forward to sleeping in. Wise Beard Man saw to that.

11am today, standing in the shower wondering what the hell was going on, then sitting in the back of the car struggling through the Great Gatsby (which I eventually finished, as it's mercifully short). We arrived in Kew after 2, said hi to all the second and third cousins we'd never met, and played foosball til the Sunburies arrived, and I caught up with Jordan. Dunno about his hair. We said Happy Birthday to Vin, was wowed by the house (damn kids, pool, PS3, Wii, and a backyard smaller than the carpark at maccas. Maybe I should feel sorry for them), then left. I drove home, up to 64 hours in the book now, in just over six months.

Back home, checked the news, apparently the only things I missed were a spectacular plane crash in New York (again), and a chemical truck tipping over (which I'd heard about the night before; apparently a trip that usually would take five minutes took an hour because of a combination of cricket fans, soccer fans, and the truck).

Tomorrow, need to see if I'm working next week, but that's it. I plan on sleeping in til 2 and then reading False Gods and doing a bit more painting.



Thursday, January 15, 2009

Nobody's fault but mine.

'Lo readers.

Just a quick update.

Tuesday, I had stuff to do. Not working this week, some bastard has all five weekday shifts, and one of the weekend ones.

Movie reviews!

Dazed and Confused - ****
No plot at all, really. It's sort of like Superbad, but set in '76, with a better soundtrack, and slightly less funny. Still entertaining though.

28 Days Later - ***
It's almost plausible, especially the finale, but it's not scary. I'd class it as a thriller more than a horror flick. Some bits are pretty stupid, but meh. I guess I'll have to watch the sequel now.

Wednesday, too hot. Wise Beard Man dragged us down to the Blue Pools, wasn't too bad til it got busy. I saw Denny and Erin, and two teachers. Hell.

Today, finally finished the Satanic Verses and painting more greenskins. Satanic Verses is trippy, some bits make no sense, and the author is a bit enthusiastic in making himself omnipotent. Meh. I have to review it properly soon, and break into school to get The Great Gatsby. Then when that's finished, Twilight. (hells, what's happening, Smiggle and Twilight in the same month...)

I found a takeoff on cat macros (lolcats to the masses, why did they bastardize the name?) which is all about rock, and most of the community has a fixation on Zeppelin and other good bands. Thus, stories in broken english of Robert Plant being a zombie and Pete Townshend eating babies.

Right now behind me, old Uncle Kevin has dropped in. Exactly.

Tomorrow, getting up (far too early) to catch a train to Melbourne with Aiden, then wasting time in the city til the game starts. I'd like to be able to catch up with other people who are going, but one is unsure (still!), one I currently don't have their number, and one isn't replying yet. Bah.



Monday, January 12, 2009

Fasten your seatbelts.

'Lo all.

Long time no post, but I've got a good excuse, I swear.

Let's see. Haven't posted in a week. In that time, I picked up a battleforce and had a ball putting together some bikers, bought a Spitfire and built and painted it, to find out whether the scale is good, and it is, watched The Life Aquatic again, saw something on myspace which disappointed and enraged me, investigated and illegally downloaded Eric Clapton stuff, investigated and (SHOCK) legally downloaded Tame Impala's EP, and rented out Dazed and Confused and 28 Days Later.

*geek warning* Finished converting and painting an Inquisitor based off an Empire priest, figured Order of the Hammer deserved the biggest hammer. I tried out something new, went for a Mechrite base, then used four or so thin glazes of gold over the top, then highlighted with a boltgun/gold mix and a brown ink wash. Looked fairly effective, I'm considering using this on a Sister's detachment or the henchmen, if I ever get any more. The big flag for the SL squad also came out fairly well, bit of a departure from the usual banners, but it works. The greenskins, I figure I'll use the same stuff, though maybe I should make the bikers a bit more flashy, and not assemble the trukk til I can afford the battlewagon. Hmm. */geek warning*

Anyway, Friday I drove the tribe down to Ocean Grove, which wasn't too bad. Wise Beard Man made us go to the beach, I chilled out and read the paper while the rest went in the water. Back home, I educated my dear grandmother in procuring movies illegally, and we hunted down a thriller from the 50s on Rapidshare, since she says they barely use the 12gb they get per month. Course, it came in seven bits, so it took ages. I think it worked. Katie went with us to Torquay. Ladies, I can officially say I have set foot inside a Smiggle outlet. Are all the stores colour coded? Kind of scary, especially when you see the useless but "OMG KAWAII!!!11!" stuff like an electric eraser. I don't understand how an eraser could be electric, to be honest. We also looked at the fancy surf shops, hate these places, so many bleached kids walking around like they own the place. And everything's expensive.

Then we went to Buninyong, everyone was well. Joe beat me thrice in pool, since they have a pool table now. We wasted time in front of the television watching late night crap, including a hilarious movie we think was called Say It Isn't So. Highly recommended. Next day, had a look at the bike race (Bloody hell, 16 15min laps up and down a mountain in 28o heat...), then played a round of golf (Wise Beard Man and I are too patchy, and out of practice compared to Peter and Joe), and watched the Twenty20, which was very exciting. Warner was awesome, and some of the dismissals were spectacular (de Villiers by Tait, bloody hell). We then played Spore (abused it, obviously. The critter was very well endowed, let's put it that way) and watched more crappy TV (Taken Out = trainwreck stuff).

Today we drove home. We couldn't find a paper until we got right out of Ballarat and stopped at a BP/KFC thing. I managed all the way to Pakenham, then Wise Beard Man put his foot down. I picked up supplies in the Coles then we got lost. I got another go from Trafalgar, and it was ridiculously easy all the way. One more thing, Between the tunnel and about Warragul is hell and needs to be finished as soon as possible.

Tomorrow, I want to watch a movie, and then I have to return them. Need to check when I'm working next, and not dwell on things. Dogs and year 12s, maybe I was right, it's a gorram trap (not one of those [I think]). Need to start painting too, and finish this damn book, and break into school... Can't go to Luna Park though, so have fun guys.



Sunday, January 4, 2009

Update plus bonus.

'Lo readers.

Brief update plus a list.

Firstly, hello in Los Angeles. Hope business class wasn't too fun.

Movie review time - Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny - ***1/2
I expected more, based off the rabid reports from everyone else. I mean, it's funny, and all the rock and roll touches are good, but meh. I didn't recognise Dave Grohl.

Erm. Still haven't finished the Satanic Verses, going to have a cram session soon, see if I can finish it by the end of the week. I want to start reading False Gods.

Bonus - Top 10 movies I want to see in 09.

10. Up (Pixar)
9. Sherlock Holmes (Guy Ritchie and Robert Downey Jr version!)
8. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (Trailer looks pretty good)
7. Funny People (Apatow)
6. Terminator Salvation (If it's what they say it is, it'll be good. If it's anything else, it won't be)
5. Avatar (Curiousness, more than anything else. It's supposed to (paraphrasing here) fornicate with our eyes)
4. Inglourious Basterds (Tarantino!)
3. Cirque du Freak (don'tbuggeritupdon'tbuggeritupdon'tbuggeritup)
2. Watchmen (See above, though it looks awesome. I hope it gets released)
1. Sequel to Disaster Movie (I'm kidding, but I guarantee there'll be one)

Now, at the end of the year, or when you've seen all these, feel free to email me and call me either a visionary or an idiot.

Also funny, there's only four original properties in that list, everything else is a sequel or an adaption.

Speaking of movies, just watched Casino Royale. Very cool, specially now I know how to play Texas Hold 'em...

Tomorrow, I dunno. I worked today (quiet, but not too quiet), so I'm tired. Means I probably won't wake up til 2 or something...



Friday, January 2, 2009

'Ere we go.

'Lo readers.

Right. 2009. Feels good man.

To be honest, my only goals are to survive. Anything else would be cool, but I don't really mind. I'd like to continue earning money, and get off my arse and do stuff, but meh. Like, whatever.

I've used one of those 5 weeklies for $5 things, and have been wasting time watching films and painting stuff. I've booted up a plog on Warseer, but I doubt anyone there will care. So many noob greenskin logs starting now anyway.

Anyway, here's a couple of movie reviews.

Strictly Ballroom - *
Not for me. In it's defence... I'll get back to you. On the other hand, crap, predictable story, meaningless plot elements, crappy acting, overdone style... I'm not looking forward to reviewing it (twice) for literature, let's leave it at that.

The Life Aquatic, with Steve Zissou - ****1/2
On the other hand, I really liked this one. I remember watching bits from ages ago, when Beardman borrowed it. The main character is a dick, but apart from that, it's pretty good, and funny. I think I might hunt down the rest of Wes Anderson's films.

Idiocracy - ***1/2
I can't believe I've never heard of this film before. I might have, I don't remember, but I don't think it was ever in cinemas. It's a scary view of the future that has a grain of truth. Low budget, but pretty wide scope. It's funny but it could be better.

What else have we got.

Cricket January 16, seeing the one dayer with Aiden, back to work Sunday, getting stuff off Ken Wednesday, and I have to watch the Tenacious D movie while I've got it. And I really need to get stuck into The Satanic Verses, so I can finish it and all the other books I need to read, because a) they need to be finished otherwise I get my arse kicked, b) I get $20 off Oliver for Twilight, and c) FALSE GODS ARRIVED! WOO!

That's about it, so yeah. Massive Attack was just on the tv, I've seen this version of Teardrop on the Youtubes, but they weren't too bad. Shame no one else likes it.